It’s been awhile but I am still here!

This prose came to my head as I was killing time the other day…….I bet there are some of you who can relate, even on the most basic level of what I am attempting to say in my own clumsy way….

    So much to say with the words all jumbled inside my head – Having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning, in my cozy bed. The trail relay, only months away, is running through my brain – Details, details and more details parade like rain drops through my mind. I wonder how it will all fit together and realize, unlike Superwoman, I have no cape no miracle, magic or wishing spell to help me escape.

I search for a route inside my head and find myself looking inside the pantry instead. Just one cookie surly will not hurt, a little piece of pizza will definitely be worth it! Alas! I find the very next day, my stomach grumbling and unhappy to say the least not at all pleased with my miniature junk food feast.

Now in order to ease the pain, I absolutely must go for a run.Who cares if it’s raining or 90 degrees in the onslaught of the sun! I have to run off the nasty feeling inside my head all the negative words rattling around inside like pieces of hot lead. So, run I do and of course, it’s no pleasure my body informing me that it’s strength I did not treasure.

I run just the same, inevitably walking some falling victim to my inner thoughts, stabbing and jolting me out of my happy place with severe words of discouragement. I refuse to let the negativity win! I keep lighting the fuse of enthusiasm over and over again.

To the next sign I will push it – run, run, RUN! Until suddenly I feel the release…….Like a pressure valve suddenly boils over, and the pain is gone. Image

      I find my own personal nervana…..but still the monster waits.

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