Randomness about “beauty” and going hungry

Yesterday, I read a quote someone posted on FaceBook that was attributed to F. Scott Fitzgerald:
“She is beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She’s beautiful, for the way she thinks. She is beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about something she loves. She’s beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she’s sad. No, she isn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She is beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.” This quote got my mind in a whirl about the fact that people say beauty is only skin deep and how important it is to me as a mother of three daughters to make them believe it.

Being beautiful on the outside is great! Right? We all wish to be more handsome, prettier, sexier, thinner, thicker, more youthful…..etc., etc. The media is full of pictures and videos of beautiful people with perfect skin, perfect teeth and soft, silky – perfect hair! How many of us stop and think to ourselves that we wish we were more intelligent? More kind? Do we wish to have a greater depth of spirit or wish to have the ability to persevere through the toughest of situations?

Indeed, there is a beauty that is only skin deep! As F. Scott Fitzgerald so aptly put it however, there is more to beauty than an outward appearance. Have you ever truly paid attention to someone who is speaking on a topic that they feel PASSIONATE about? Look in their eyes and the expression on their face and what do you see? Sit back and watch people interact with the person who is speaking passionately and what do you see? I bet you see people smiling, feeling comfortable and perhaps even feeling BEAUTIFUL themselves.

To have the ability to make others, as well as yourself, feel comfortable, intelligent and yes, even beautiful – truly beautiful – is almost an art form. To know deep down in the inner recesses of your mind that no matter your skin tone, size, gender, hair color or weight you are beautiful on the inside – as long as you have the ability to see the inner beauty of others as well as yourself.

The inability to feel and/or see this inner beauty may leave some feeling HUNGRY but the hungry I’d like to speak about is the physical hunger – not the psychical hunger so many seem to endure in this era of band-aid solutions and a microwave mentality. The physical hunger of going without food to feed your body is something I am familiar with from childhood and occasionally I am reacquainted, involuntarily, with this feeling.

Please don’t mistake what I am saying. I am certainly NOT starving. Not even close! I eat several times a day and in fact my husband makes fun of me because of how often he sees me eating a “meal”. In case you didn’t know, I am an endurance athlete currently training for my first 100 mile endurance event and this means that I eat..A LOT. I eat around 6 times a day on an average. Today I was ate breakfast and then my husband and I had to run out and do some errands……for FIVE hours. That meant that I did not eat anything after breakfast – for SIX hours.
For about 45 minutes it felt like the acid in my stomach was eating at my spine and I had gas pains emanating up from my belly into my back. This was such an uncomfortable feeling!! I said to my husband, imagine what it’s like to be a baby (meaning a young child) who regularly goes without eating! Imagine how painful it must be for their little bodies! Poor things…..It made me remember (not too fondly) of the days when mayonnaise sandwiches were lunch….and a treat was going to my Grandmothers’ house, picking some wild berries down by the river & having Grandma throw them into a bowl with some sugar.

Imagine going without food for days due to no fault of your own! Ugh! If I had to guess I would say that memories such as those previously mentioned are part of the reason why my daughters are (in my estimation) spoiled. Sad isn’t it that somewhere in my mind having access to an unlimited amount of food = spoiled?!

Well, that’s a topic for another day me thinks! 🙂
Until next time!

~Peace

Prose…..on Running

Sunrise in August

WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS FOR RUNNING 10, 25 OR 100 MILES THEY OFTEN INQUIRE?
AND TO WHICH I OFTEN HAVE NO REPLY OTHER THAN TO STUTTER OUT…
I JUST DO IT, I DON’T EXACTLY KNOW THE WHY OF THIS INTERNAL FIRE

I RUN TO PUT ASIDE MY DEMONS FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE
I RUN TO SEE HOW FAR I CAN PUSH MY BODY
TO SEE HOW FAR IT TAKES TO RUN BEFORE I BEGIN TO SMILE

I RUN TO PUT THE PAST BEHIND ME FOR JUST A BIT
OUT THERE ON THE TRAIL OR THE ROAD
THERE ARE NO MISTAKES TO HAUNT MY THOUGHTS
FOR THOSE PEACEFUL MOMENTS IN TIME I SHELVE THE HEAVY LOAD

I RUN TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT I REALLY AM ABLE
DESPITE ALL THE DOUBT AND CRITICISM ENCOUNTERED
TO PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AND KEEP PUSHING
BEYOND THE PHYSICAL PAIN INTO ANOTHER REALM ALTOGETHER

HOW CAN YOU LEAVE YOUR FAMILY AT HOME WHILE YOU TRAIN FOR HOURS?
YOU ARE SO VERY SELFISH! I OFTEN HEAR THEM EXCLAIM
I HAVE NO RATIONAL REPLY BUT MANAGE THROUGH MY ANGER TO STUTTER OUT
I JUST DO IT, I DO IT TO SWEETEN THE PERSON INSIDE THE WORLD ATTEMPTS TO SOUR

IF SELFISH I AM FOR PUTTING MYSELF FIRST FOR JUST A FEW HOURS A WEEK
THEN ASK MY CHILDREN ABOUT THE LOVE THEY RECEIVE
ASK THEM IF YOU DARE WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER I AIM TO BE
THEY WILL TELL YOU I AM SURE, I AM HARD AND FAIR AND LOVE THEM DEEPLY.

OUTSIDE OF ALL THE TITLES OF WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE
NO MATTER WHAT THE HOLD ON ME
RUNNING EVEN THE HARDEST 25 MILES LEAVES ME SATED
FEELING COMPLETE, AS IF THE ENTIRE WORLD IS ONE OF POSSIBILITY.

~TLT 10/24/14

Reflection…..

As I look back I realize that so much has happened in the last 6 – 8 months – although at the time it seemed that there was not much at all going on. Funny how that happens! This weekend was the culmination of about 6 MONTHS of planning for me and probably much more than that for the organizers of Ragnar Relay Texas Hill Country. It seems like just last week I was promoting Ragnar at The Army Marathon expo and working out the details of a Runners Clinic with Joey Bishop of Endurance Outfitters!

Besides the athletic side of my life there is so much more that takes place, outside of public view. My life as a mother and wife; adjunct instructor of adult education….friend to a small circle of folks as well as the inner world of my own psyche. This inner world is the one I was reflecting on as I walked my 75 lb lab for three miles in an attempt to calm my mind and ease my spirit – as well as tire out the dog. I was thinking about all the times we all say ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ – usually with regret or longing.

This weekend I let go of those phrases and just went with the flow! No expectations other than to finish each loop of the relay successfully – meaning w/o sustaining any injuries! I have found that our expectations of ourselves and others are often the very source of our dissatisfaction with one thing or another. Think about it like this: You enter a contest with the expectation that you will do so well as to place in the top three of all the contestants, you work as hard as you can to live up to each and every expectation you had as well as all those expectations you believe others have place on your shoulders. At the end of the contest, after done your best and believing with all your heart that you deserve first place – not only do you NOT place in the top three, but you don’t even place in the top 10. What happens to your sense of self? What are your immediate thoughts about all your planning and preparation? Immediately following a perceived failure, our sense of self is dashed and we wonder what’s so wrong with us and what we could have done differently.

What if…..we had worked harder? What if….we had pushed a little further? If only…we had not developed blisters. If only….we had more sleep….You get the idea. So, with this lesson on expectations in my mind, I decided to enter this 36 hours of Ragnar Relay without ANY expectations! No expectations of my friends and teammates other than to be present – but after 6 months of changes – I was READY for someone to bail at the last minute. I had no expectation that I would finish the 7 1/2 mile loop of the relay in under an hour or even two hours…no expectation other than to FINISH. I allowed the time to simply flow…I followed the lead of others around me and the situation and just let it unfold.

You know what happened? I enjoyed myself!! I wasn’t stressed out and irritated! In this moment of reflection I find that I am SATISFIED with the outcome….This is AMAZING!

My friend John S. posted a note to our team page this morning and it surprised me a little. This is what he said, “Just wanted to say thank you to Lynn. You have been a remarkable friend, mentor, training partner, and pain in the butt!! I could not have asked to be on a better team and honored that you invited us all to share in this experience with you!” Why was I surprised? I guess because I didn’t see myself as anything other than a pain in the butt….and maybe a training partner to a few of my teammates! 😉 My EXPECTATIONS of myself and my role in the lives of others was minimized.

To all of the members of my Ragnar Team – THANK YOU! Norma, Jason, Jack, Jenell, James, Marlene and last but certainly not the least…John S. Every single one of you gave your best, tried your hardest and left it out there somewhere in the middle of Comfort, Texas! I am so thankful to have great training partners, friends and friendly competitors among you. I also want to say thank you to our volunteer Sarah and a Lady by the name of Liz (Johns wife) who is always gracious, volunteers to help others, provides food for the hungry athlete, and blankets for the cold! Thank you Liz!

This was a weekend of wonderful memories! Now……on to the NEXT adventure! Who’s ready?!! 😀

Until next time….PEACE