I have heard men speak of wanting or being entitled to be treated like a king or that they are, in fact, ‘king of their castle’. This made me wonder, what exactly IS a king? When I think of a king, I think of an autocratic ruler of a kingdom. Someone who does not discuss anything with others when making decisions, except perhaps to obtain agreement regarding their particular way of thinking. They really do not desire conversation or collaboration – only agreement of their particular idea or opinion.
Being the curious kind of person I am, it made sense to look up the various definitions of the word king as well as any connotations of the word. Interestingly enough, the very first one I found pretty much summed up what I initially thought. Here’s what I found:
The King is directed toward exercising authority over self, over other people, and over situations. This is inherently fulfilled by being in positions where he has established dominion. He wants to be recognized as the master. The realization of his nature is to call the shots. The satisfaction of his essence is to be out in front of others, or ahead of the circumstances. A king sees himself as a sovereign, and other people as his subjects. The negative traits of such a person are: arrogance, controlling, demanding, inflexible, intolerant, overbearing, ruthless, tyrannical. Men of this “king” mindset are very much concerned with the issue of “who’s in charge here”, because he wants to be in charge wherever he is, and in whatever situation he finds himself. He will always seek to initiate the sequence of events. If he cannot do it with leadership, he does it with dictatorship. (http://www.michaelteachings.com/king_role.html)
This is just one definition I found with associated connotations. Somehow I doubt that there are many men who are being treated this way, the way they feel they are entitled to be treated by their families or friends, close relatives or other people in their lives. Let’s talk about another word here: entitled. What does it mean to be entitled? We hear lately a whole lot about this era of entitlement and generally folks are referring to our younger generations. As we see here however, it is not only our younger generation that feels a sense of entitlement, but also those who believe that they are ENTITLED to be treated like a king. Entitled? What does it even mean? Let us see….
Someone who feels entitled often displays a lack of appreciation for the sacrifices of others and at the same time a refusal to accept that their problems are of their own making. Thus, they are frequently unable or unwilling to acknowledge fault or error; this typically leads to being in a state of denial. Here is the one that in my mind, speaks to the idea that a man somehow deserves to be treated as a “king”…the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. To be inherently deserving means that one has no need to earn respect, honor and the like, rather by virtue of the fact that they are a CEO, VIP….MAN etc., they are entitled to be king. Hmph! Is this the mentality that we are striving for?
As a woman I can tell you this idea that someone is entitled to a particular type of treatment simply because of their gender, position within a company etc really goes against what I believe. To put it simply using a well known idiom, it rubs me the wrong way! I have no problem respecting those in positions of authority or who are senior to me in some respect. My problem it seems is with the idea of someone being ENTITLED….
Don’t get me wrong, there are good qualities of a so called king….when they do not believe that they are inherently entitled to a particular type of treatment.
Food for thought until next time….