Music for my Soul….

I’m not sure if it is an unfortunate aspect of my crazy life, or something I should be thankful for but I do not have many memories I can recall with relative ease. There is one exception to this though…memories that have a song attached to them somehow. Isn’t that funny? I’m not musically inclined really, though I do have a great love for most types of music.

Memories like, crying over my most recent boy related heartbreak, sitting in front of my mom’s old console stereo and listening to the 45 record of Dr. Hook belt out Only 16…on repeat. To flying down the highway (I don’t remember the name of) somewhere around Thetford, Vermont in the black AMC Eagle, racing my crazy friend Jeff in his Nova or whatever piece of metal he happened to be driving at that time….blasting Sammy Hagar’s “I can’t drive 55” as loud as those little speakers could handle…

Good and bad and maybe a few crazy memories here and there interspersed for good measure, I remember my life in snapshots filled with music. The names and faces of people I grew up with here and there as my family moved seemingly constantly for no real reason as I recall. I have very little recollection of many people or even places we lived with the exception of a very few. Music even now fills my soul. When I am feeling blue one of the best ways for me to dig myself out of the pit is to SING. Now, don’t laugh at me. Doesn’t it make you feel better when you sing? Preferably belting out a favorite song in the car or the shower where nobody else can hear and where the acoustics are more friendly! Ha ha!

Then there’s running which is the music for my soul now but before I knew running, there was music. The only time it’s bad for memories to be attached to music is when it brings forth those painful memories that are better off buried in the recesses of my mind. I heard a song this week. Perhaps you’ve heard Sarah McLachlan sing Angel? Whenever I hear this song, I cannot help but be transported back to a little church in wintertime Vermont, 9 years ago in March when my Nana had passed on and her funeral was taking place. There I sat, telling myself I would not cry, I would be strong enough to get through the funeral without crying and then that song came on. I will forever associate that song with the breaking my heart felt that day knowing that the woman I loved dearly was not coming back.

As I look back, I see how vital music has been to my survival and even my sanity perhaps. Now, as I prepare my body and my mind once more for another trek through the woods, running in circles, chasing shadows and meeting new people doing the same, I realize that music used in conjunction with the rhythmic tap of my soles against the earth soothes the aches that chase me. Someone once asked me of my running, “What are you running from?” HAH! The joke is really on those who think that I am running FROM anything!! I am running to something!

What am I running to you ask? I am running into my future. Running to the music I hear in my heart and soul that tells me this is the way to peace. Music and running ease my queasy stomach, squelches the monster in my head telling me in its quiet, steely voice, “You can’t do it, you’re not fast enough nor small enough nor determined enough.” Listen to enough of Marshal Mathers aka M & M screaming at you, telling you that if you give up now you’ll never know what could have happened if you had only tried harder…You will try harder. You will keep moving on in the direction of your passion as you listen to the music that soothes your soul….

Until next time my friends….





We get to a stage in life, I think, when we become more aware of what is important to us and what is not so important. For some of us, this journey takes longer to travel and for others they may never arrive at a place in their lives where life experiences are more important than things. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have the latest gadget if you, like me, are a gadget freak. It’s nice to have beautiful items to decorate your space and of course, it is wonderful to drive good looking, reliable vehicles.

The question is, are those THINGS more important than perhaps the money that could or would be spent on an experience? There will always be new things, upgrades to the latest technology to woo you and pretty cool gadgets to lure you into purchasing them but will you always be able to partake in this activity or the other as you age? Will traveling always be possible? Will the kiddos always want to be around you after you have spent the last however many years shushing them because you don’t want to miss the latest drama on the television? Will you always want to visit new locales and try new food, see places you’ve never seen before or experience the thrill of a sunrise over a never before explored trail?

I so often hear people say, ‘Now is not the right time.’ Guess what? There is never the right time to do anything. Children grow up and before you know it, they will be the ones shushing you because you are too old and have nothing they want to hear. In the blink of an eye, your body will wear down and walking will become a chore rather than a joy and where will you want to go then? When you are worn down and your body is tired, the gadgets will still be here zooming along ahead of you…but where will you have gone? What stories will you have to tell about the life you lived?

I want to LIVE life….explore the trails not yet traveled, see the pink sunrise over the horizon and watch as the red sun sets low over the crystal waters. I want to talk to people and learn what they have learned. I want to read philosophy, modern history and books that hold no real learning value because there is always something left to learn. My desire is to keep my body and my mind as young as possible by remaining active, and a persistent thorn in the side of those around me (in the best possible way!) It is my belief that when we stop learning, growing and doing, our brain begins to die and when that happens our body is soon to follow.

I’d rather pay $200 for a life EXPERIENCE than $200 for a thing that does not make one any happier, smarter or more mentally agile. Even if my experience costs $200 and the cost to partake in the experience costs double that….if it alters my perception of life, creates a healthy desire for more life or teaches a lesson about all that is important…it is worth every single penny in my opinion. Why go through life waiting for the right time? Make the time NOW!! Life and death wait for no man….or woman!! Go get it…chase the dream until you can no longer move!!

And so I am following my own advice and have begun preparations to visit the 100 mile journey of the trail once again…I look forward with trepidation and excitement both…to see where the path shall lead..

Until next time friends….