This has been a repeated topic of conversation lately, and it is one that’s important to have at least once with those who are important in your life. Intention is the idea or the plan to complete a task or to behave in a particular manner. As human beings we have many intentions usually. We intend to behave a certain way. We intend to obtain our driver’s license when we turn 16. We intend to complete some version of a college degree by a particular age, etc., etc..
Here’s the issue though. The intent to do something is not the same as actually DOING that same thing. For instance, when I had the intent to complete an ultra-marathon distance running event, it was an idea that I wanted to run a specific distance at that event but, without a plan that intent means virtually nothing. What good is an idea without the follow through? If you intend to be a decent human being then your actions reflect that same intent and you ARE a decent human being most of the time. (None of us are perfect as humans, therefore we cannot assume that we’re always decent human beings since we have a tendency toward selfishness.)
Recently, a friend of mine told me that no matter what I said or did that they would never simply allow me to voluntarily walk out of their lives. Hmmm… Okay, but what would or could they actually do to prevent me from exiting their life? Do they actually have that much control over my intent and actions? How about their own intentions…Do they have enough control over their own lives at the moment so as to have the ability to prevent my exit? Could they put action behind their words so their intention matched action?
Now, this particular friend, maybe you have one similar to this, is someone who can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. One of those smooth talking individuals who has probably talked their way into and out of many different types of situations, and therefore is accustomed to people being persuaded by just their words. Unfortunately for them, though kind hearted at my core, I am not a sucker for words alone. If you talk the talk then you’d better be ready and willing to walk the walk as well.
Back in early November of last year, I entertained the idea of competing in a figure competition. It was my INTENT tocompete this summer. What did I do as a result? I completed some research, found people to emulate, talked to women who have competed and then created a plan that would get me closer to achieving that goal. There were actions that followed in the wake of my words. Unlike my previously mentioned friend, there wasn’t just talk but there was also the walk because I am a realist.
We can spout off words galore about the goals we have in life, but until and unless we put our money where our mouth is, we will not get any closer to achieving those goals without action. Some have told me that I am a pessimist or that I’m jaded and cold. Honestly, I don’t see myself that way at all. I have a huge heart that opens readily for those who demonstrate their willingness to reciprocate (shhhh don’t tell anyone!) Generally speaking, I believe peoplehave the best of intentions and have the same needs, wishes and desires as I do. However, it’s also common knowledge that we, as humans, are also often absolutely awful to each other. My goal is to allow people the freedom to show me what they’re capable of.
Show me. Don’t just use your words to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Intention without action is worthless as were the words my friend said to me about allowing me to walk out of their life. The door into my life was closed firmly, and the only way for them to enter once again into my life is by taking definitive action to do so. I’m sad though because as I said, I expect the best from people and when they don’t live up to that expectation I’m left wondering what happened. Wasn’t I good enough to work for? Perhaps I need to lower my expectations? Or maybe, just maybe, the issue is theirs and I need to continue on my merry way owning the closed door and the boundaries they represent between action and intention.